


To Catch A Falling Starbuck

by fhsa_archivist



Category: Battlestar Galactica (1978), Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Established Relationship, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-03
Updated: 2006-05-03
Packaged: 2019-02-05 18:22:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12799767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fhsa_archivist/pseuds/fhsa_archivist
Summary: A misunderstanding between lovers and an accidental poisoning spell trouble for Starbuck. Will Apollo save him in time?





	To Catch A Falling Starbuck

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Haven, the archivist: This story was originally archived at [Fandom Haven Story Archive (FHSA)](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Fandom_Haven_Story_Archive), was scheduled to shut down at the end of 2016. To preserve the archive, I began working with the OTW to transfer the stories to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. If you are this creator and the work hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Fandom Haven Story Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/fhsa/profile).

Starbuck closed his eyes and let the sensations flow over him. He was laying on his stomach on Apollo’s bed and Apollo was behind him, and in him, and over him, and it felt so wonderful that Starbuck never wanted it to end.

 

He felt like he was on fire. Apollo was heavy on top of him and felt huge inside of him. The frantic in and out motions were sparking along his nerves, driving Starbuck higher and higher. Apollo was rubbing all over the back of him while the smooth sheets were stimulating the front of his body. From head to toe. 

 

Starbuck gasped as Apollo hit his prostate and he managed to open his legs impossibly wider.

 

Just a little more, just a little more, that’s all either of us need.

 

In ecstasy he opened his eyes and frowned. There on the bedside table was Serina. Oh, not really Serina, of course. Just a picture, or four. Quickly Starbuck turned his head so that he faced the left side of the bed instead. 

 

Here it was almost as bad. Perfume bottles and a scarf. They were on the dresser just waiting for their owner to pick them up again. Frowning Starbuck closed his eyes, but it was no good he knew they were still there mocking him. Serina’s clothes were still side by side with Apollo’s in the closet. If he could look behind them Starbuck knew he would see her jacket hanging by the door.

 

Three yarens and less than a day. They were married less than a day over three yarens ago and she’s still here. Apollo and I have been together for over ten sectars and friends for so many yarens longer than that and you couldn’t find anything of me here at all.

 

I am a whore. Just like everybody has always said. First, the orphanage whore. ‘Just close your mouth and take it you little slut or no food for you tonight.’ Then the academy whore. ‘Open up blondie. I know you didn’t get here for your flying skills.’ Later still, the Galactica whore. ‘Come on over here behind this viper. I hear you’ll do it for anybody.’ Now I’m Captain Apollo’s whore.

 

With this thought running through Starbuck’s head he lost any desire for…well any desire.

 

Apollo, normally the most attentive of lovers was too far gone to notice when Starbuck stopped responding. Apollo climaxed deep in his lover and then carefully pulled out to lay beside him. Happily spent Apollo reasoned that because Starbuck wasn’t moving around he must have already come. Feeling good, Apollo, who in his defense had had a helluva hard day, fell asleep with one hand lying on Starbuck’s back.

 

Starbuck felt cold and sick all over. His hands and feet were numb and his brain was overloaded with the epiphany he had just had.

 

Whore, whore, whore.

 

After a few centons Apollo began to snore softly and Starbuck turned over to look at him. The dim light outlined Starbuck’s beautiful lover.

 

Not lover, Starbuck thought. How could I have ever been so stupid as to think we were lovers. You have to love each other to be lovers and while I love you, Apollo, with all my heart and soul you don’t love me. Not that way. As friends, maybe, at least you used to. I don’t know any more, maybe I’ve messed that up too.

 

Carefully, so as not to wake Apollo, Starbuck slid out of bed, gathered his clothes and went into the living area. He could change safely in here because Boxey was fast asleep in his room.

 

Crying, Starbuck slipped out the door.

 

******

 

Apollo woke up a couple of centars later when the alarm went off. He always set it so that Starbuck could leave before his son woke up.

 

“Hey Star, time to get up.”

 

The words died on Apollo’s lips when he saw that the other side of the bed was empty. Empty and cold. 

 

Apollo touched the bed and realized that his lover must have left quite a while ago. This disturbed Apollo. He was used to waking up with Starbuck curled around him or him curled around Starbuck. Just generally entwined around each other. He missed the feeling and it bothered him. Normally he had to work to get Starbuck up and out before Boxey got up.

 

I wonder why I keep doing that, why do I keep hiding Starbuck and me? It’s not like anyone would care, I mean there are more same sex relationships around here than you could shake a viper at. I can’t even use the old argument about Boxey. It’s been long enough, I think he’s over Serina’s death and would be happy to see me find someone to love.

 

Who am I protecting? Me?

 

Apollo ran his hands over the cold sheets and wished it was Starbuck’s silky back instead. Saddened, Apollo got up to tidy the bed and realized he didn’t need to. They weren’t dirty. The implications of that hit Apollo like a kick to the chest.

 

Starbuck didn’t come last night and I never realized it!

 

Apollo was surprised, horrified and even more confused than ever before. Starbuck had just lain there like he had been satisfied.

 

What in Sagan’s name is going on? I’ll talk to him before patrol tod…wait we don’t have patrol today. Alright I’ll talk to him at the party tonight. I guess.

 

******

 

So it happened that Apollo went against his instincts that were telling him to go and find his lover as soon as possible. This was only the first of a long line of mistakes that would come back to haunt Apollo. He and Starbuck would suffer dearly for this mistake, but maybe it had to be this way.

 

******

 

Apollo tidied up the room, straightening pictures, perfume bottles, etc., without even noticing them. He felt cold and shaky.

 

And scared.

 

Starbuck, meanwhile, had been wandering around the ship all night. He was too depressed to gamble and too upset to sleep. After he had finally exhausted himself out Starbuck stumbled back to the BOQ and was the first to take a shower.

 

Starbuck sat in the floor of shower and cried.

 

 

Boomer looked up to see Starbuck coming into the BOQ. Several of the guys kidded Starbuck about his ‘new girlfriend’ the one that had kept him out ‘all night long’. Starbuck just ignored them, which wasn’t like his usual outgoing self.

 

Boomer was surprised…and he wasn’t. He wasn’t because he alone knew about Starbuck and Apollo’s relationship. He had accidentally found out a few sectons before and no one else, not even Apollo, knew that he knew. Boomer was, however, very surprised at Starbuck’s attitude. Normally he would have laughed and kidded with the other pilots, if for no other reason than to divert any sort of suspicion away from Apollo.

 

He hasn’t been himself lately. I wonder what’s wrong.

 

“Hey Bucko, ready for breakfast?”

 

“Sure, if you want.”

 

Everyone stopped and stared at Starbuck. Now they knew something was wrong. The Lieutenant was always hungry. He was legendary for some of the meals he had eaten. Not being interested in food was very un-Starbuck behavior, unless he was depressed.

 

Inside Boomer groaned. If he was depressed it wouldn’t be pretty. Starbuck normally had a very upbeat personality and it took a lot to get him down, but if he did become depressed it was always bad.

 

******

 

Boomer watched as Starbuck got a glass of blue juice and sat down at the table. It was obvious that this was all Starbuck intended to have for breakfast. “C’mon Bucko, tell me what’s wrong.”

 

“Don’t want to talk about it Boom,” Starbuck said quietly as he drank the juice down and got up to get another glass.

 

“I guess you really like that new juice. That’s all I see you drinking lately.”

 

Smiling sadly Starbuck didn’t say anything.

 

Desperate to fill the quiet Boomer added, “Of course I think they could have come up with a better name than “blue fruit”. I think they should have called it Starbuck fruit or something catchy like that, after all, you were the one who discovered it on that last planet. 

 

When Starbuck remained silent Boomer asked yet again, “What’s the matter Starbuck.”

 

“Apollo is ashamed of me. I’m a dirty little secret.”

 

Stunned Boomer sputtered, “What! Don’t be silly, it’s obvious how much Apollo loves you.” Boomer stopped when he saw his young friend shaking his head.

 

“No Boomer you’re wrong. If Apollo loved me he wouldn’t want to keep hiding us. Of course I don’t blame him because I am a ‘useless, nobody, whore’.” Starbuck made this terrible statement in a curiously flat tone of voice.

 

“Starbuck what are you talking about. Nobody feels that way and who said that to you.” Unthinkingly Boomer contradicted himself by saying no one felt that way and then demanding to know who said it. He didn’t catch the contradiction, but Starbuck did.

 

With a pitying glance Starbuck said, “Don’t worry about it Boom-Boom. I’m just tired and feeling sorry for myself.” Before Boomer could say anything else, Starbuck continued on. “Don’t you have patrol? You better get going.”

 

Boomer was torn. He wanted to help his friend and yet he knew Apollo was really the only one who could do anything. Boomer determined to confront Apollo tonight at the party. 

 

Not liking leaving his young friend so despondent, Boomer did acknowledge that he had to get to patrol. Glancing at his timepiece Boomer realized he had to leave, now.

 

“Things will get better Bucko,” Boomer reassured his blond friend.

 

Starbuck smiled sadly at Boomer and just whispered, “sure”.

 

Boomer hurried away, knowing in his heart he was making a big mistake. Sadly, he was right.

 

******

 

After getting Boxey off to school Apollo did something he had never done before in his entire life. 

 

He played hooky. 

 

He got someone to fill in for him at the duty office for his designated work cycle and roamed the ship, looking for Starbuck. Despite this Apollo couldn’t find his lover anywhere.

 

Starbuck meanwhile was also wandering around the Galactica. He and Apollo’s paths almost crossed several times, but they didn’t. 

 

Apollo finally gave up and went to help set everything up for the party. Starbuck kept wandering and drinking blue juice. For some reason he couldn’t seem to get enough of it. The more he drank the thirstier he became and now he was getting a headache.

 

 

Starbuck’s head felt as big as a triad ball. What he really wanted to do was crawl into bed, cover up his head and sleep for a secton. He couldn’t though because he had to get ready for Commander Adama’s party.

 

Starbuck’s stomach started throbbing in time with his head. For a moment Starbuck felt like he was going to throw up. He didn’t.

 

Pity.

 

******

 

Apollo stood in his father’s living room and waited anxiously for Starbuck to arrive. Despite his best intentions he hadn’t been able to find his lover at all that day.

 

Across the room, Boomer was looking for Starbuck as well. He had looked for his friend after patrol but couldn’t find Starbuck in any of his usual bolt holes.

 

Greeting his guests, Adama nevertheless watched his antsy son. Something was obviously bothering him.

 

******

 

Sheba sidled up to Apollo and tried to strike up a conversation. Apollo answered her inquires about work and Boxey distractedly. Sheba, never one to give up a fight, kept on talking, trying to drawn Apollo out.

 

Apollo straightened up suddenly and Sheba turned to see why.

 

Starbuck.

 

Doing her best not to sneer at the pilot, Sheba glanced back over at Apollo and was stunned. Apollo was making baby daggit eyes at Starbuck.

 

Apollo and…Starbuck!

 

Sheba all but snarled at the thought. Obviously Starbuck had seduced Apollo, because no self respecting person would willingly have anything to do with the Lieutenant. He was such a…a…slut.

 

I’ll save you Apollo, from yourself.

 

******

 

Before Apollo could approach Starbuck, Adama announced that dinner was served. Everyone drifted into the dinning room and sat down at their appointed seats. Unfortunately, Starbuck was far away from either his lover or his good friend.

 

Adama was also watching Starbuck. He was surprised at how little the Lieutenant was eating and amazingly enough he wasn’t drinking. Not ambrosia anyway and that was Starbuck’s favorite drink. But Starbuck passed up the ambrosia and drank glassful after glassful of the blue juice instead. 

 

******

 

Excusing himself Starbuck left the dining room and went into the living room. It was so crowded in there, he just wanted a little quiet. Standing in front of the viewport Starbuck looked at the stars and felt somewhat calmer.

 

******

 

Sheba saw Starbuck go off by himself and decided this was her chance. She slipped out and crept up behind the Lieutenant unnoticed.

 

“Hello Starbuck.”

 

Starbuck jumped when he heard Sheba’s voice. “Hello Sheba,” he said warily. She had never made it any secret how much she disliked him. So why had she sought him out now?

 

“Lovely view isn’t it.”

 

“Yes. It’s so peaceful.”

 

Sheba checked to make sure no one important was around.

 

“You’ll never keep him you know.”

 

Starbuck froze. She didn’t know about him and Apollo? She couldn’t. Oh Lords, she did. What should he do now?

 

Sheba kept talking. She was saying vile, hurtful things.

 

Starbuck began to panic and as his heart started to race he began to feel odd. Very odd.

 

******

 

Starbuck felt Sheba’s voice hitting him like a thousand needles flying into his flesh. On and on she went. The words digging deeper and deeper.

 

“…you are one of the most pathetic excuses for a person I have ever seen. What in all the Lord’s of Kobol ever made you think you were good enough for Apollo? He’s the commander’s son for Sagan’s sake and you are nothing but a useless nobody. No wait, I take that back you are good for something. Spreading your legs for anybody who walks by and some who don’t even…”

 

Starbuck whimpered and covered his ears, desperately trying to block her out.

 

“Please stop.”

 

Starbuck’s legs gave way and he fell to his knees, tears pouring down his face.

 

“Please…stop.”

 

Sheba smirked at the broken figure slumped before her.

 

Not so pretty now are you Starbuck. Let’s see Apollo give you a second glance, especially when he hears you blubbering.

 

So intent was she on her victory, Sheba didn’t hear the door open behind her and so she was surprised when Boomer grabbed her arm and yanked her away from Starbuck. 

 

Starbuck was gasping for air. The pain in his head and in his soul was so intense he thought, he hoped, he was dying.

 

“Pleasestoppleasestoppleasestoppleasestoppleasestoppleasestoppleasestoppleasestop…please…”

 

 

Starbuck felt like he was floating. Something very tenuous was holding him to his body. Starbuck just wanted the pain to stop. Everything hurt so much. Please make it stop. Very far away he could hear voices. The hurtful one and a friendly one. If only he could catch hold, maybe he wouldn’t float away. Please help me, Apollo. That’s it, he needed Apollo. Where was Apollo?

 

******

 

Apollo came running when he heard Boomer yelling. He stood stunned at the sight of Boomer, nice quiet Boomer, shaking and yelling at Sheba. It was then that he noticed the slumped figure huddled on the floor.

 

“pleasestop…please…”

 

Apollo landed beside Starbuck in time to hear the last of his desperate plea.

 

“Starbuck! Starbuck talk to me.” There was no answer. 

 

“Lieutenant Boomer what’s going on?” Adama said quietly. The authoritative voice halted Apollo’s questioning, Boomer’s ranting and Sheba’s side-stepping.

 

Boomer explained what he had walked in on while Sheba lied and said she and Starbuck were having an argument. Everyone looked from Sheba’s flushed face to Starbuck slumped on the ground and no one believed her. Realizing this Sheba quickly left the room. Several people had to be restrained from going after her.

 

Apollo, meanwhile, was watching Starbuck, unsure of what to do. He wanted to hold the blond but was leery about exposing their relationship without Starbuck agreeing to it first. So, again he hesitated. Another mistake was made and this one sealed Starbuck’s fate.

 

******

 

Starbuck felt something snap and for a moment he hovered, desperately reaching out for someone to hold onto. Something. Anything. But there was nothing and Starbuck drifted away.

 

******

 

“Bucko…talk to me buddy.” Boomer carefully shook Starbuck’s arm.

 

Apollo decided he was just being a coward. He finally put his arms around his lover and felt Starbuck sag against him. “Starbuck?” Apollo took Starbuck’s chin in his hand and gently tilted his head back. Apollo gasped at what he saw and jerked back. The abrupt movement made Starbuck fall backwards. Luckily, Boomer grabbed his arm and Apollo recovered enough to grab the other one. They laid Starbuck down on the floor and now everyone could see what had so upset Apollo.

 

It was Starbuck’s eyes.

 

His normally bright, lively eyes were blank and staring.

 

Apollo looked into his lover’s eyes, the eyes that were usually so filled with love and light…and he saw nothing looking back. Apollo felt like he was going to throw up.

 

The medics from Life Center arrived just as Starbuck’s eyes rolled back in his head and he had a seizure. It was lucky that they arrived when they did, because everyone else in the room panicked and were no help at all. Thankfully the seizure was a relatively minor one and ended quickly. Only a few centons after they arrived the medics were able to load Starbuck up onto a hover bed and head towards Life Center.

 

Apollo, Boomer, Adama and Colonel Tigh went with Starbuck to the Life Center. Athena stayed behind with Boxey, who thankfully had still been in the dining room eating chocolate mushies and didn’t see what happened.

 

******

 

“Tell me exactly what happened here,” Salik ordered as he began to examine Starbuck.

 

Boomer told about the confrontation he had witnessed between Starbuck and Sheba. 

 

“What’s this on his sleeve?” Salik interrupted, pointed to a blue stain on Starbuck’s sleeve.

 

“It’s that blue juice that Starbuck loves so much. He’s always drinking it and eating the fruit.” Boomer stated.

 

“Yes, I noticed tonight that he even declined Ambrosia in favor of the blue juice.” Adama stated.

 

Salik panicked and yelling at Cassiopeia to run a new set of diagnostics. In trepidation the other men watched Salik’s frantic actions. “I’ve had several people come in who are apparently allergic to this fruit. It acts like a stimulant on the system. Whatever emotion the drinker is feeling when the level becomes toxic is magnified.”

 

“Magnified how much?” Adama requested, looking worriedly at the young man he considered to be another son.

 

“It depends on the amount of fruit consumed. The more eaten the worse the symptoms are.”

 

Apollo and Boomer look at each other, horrified, as they related just how much of this fruit Starbuck had been eating. Meanwhile, Salik gave Starbuck a shot to try and neutralize the toxins in his body.

 

“It’s going to take a while for the poison to get out of his system and I hate to tell you gentlemen, it’s going to get worse before it gets better.”

 

“Worse,” Apollo yelled. “How can it possibly get worse.”

 

Apollo’s question was answered when Starbuck began to have another, this time massive, seizure.

 

“Everyone out, now.” Salik ordered as he, Cassiopeia and two other medtech’s worked to stabilize Starbuck. “Dr. Paye I need your help, NOW!”

 

******

 

As they were leaving the Life Center Apollo heard someone laughing. Stopping he glanced into one of the other rooms and saw a woman who couldn’t seem to stop laughing. Frowning, he watched as the medtech gave her a shot.

 

“She just drank a little of the juice.” The quiet voice behind Apollo startled him. Turning he saw a man he didn’t know. “I’m Epius and that’s my wife, Sharna. I just found out she’s allergic to that new blue juice. She didn’t even drink very much of it and now she can’t stop laughing.” Glancing back to where Starbuck was surrounded by medical personnel Epius stated, “I hope your friend is all right.”

 

“Thanks, I hope your wife is okay.” Apollo left the worried husband and went outside to wait.

 

******

 

Adama and Boomer watched as Apollo paced back and forth. They had given up trying to make Apollo sit down.

 

Salik walked out looking tired. “The good news is that we stopped the seizure. The bad news is I’m not sure if he will have any more. It’s going to take several days for the toxins to completely leave his system.”

 

The three men silently absorbed this information. They looked up in trepidation when the doctor began to speak again. “There is more bad news. Starbuck appears to be catatonic. Sheba has apparently upset him so much that he has retreated into his own mind.”

 

“It wasn’t only Sheba,” Boomer stated quietly.

 

“What do you mean Lieutenant?” Again Adama’s quiet authority calmed the people in the room.

 

“Starbuck has been really depressed and feeling pretty worthless lately.”

 

“Uhmm…well that certainly would have exacerbated the symptoms. I’m sorry gentlemen I have to go now.”

 

“Wait doctor, can I sit with him.”

 

Salik looked appraisingly at Apollo and finally nodded his head. “Certainly. It can’t hurt. Try talking to him, sometimes that helps.” 

 

Apollo wasn’t comforted by the doctor’s attitude, but he was grateful that he could stay with his lover.

 

After everyone else left, Apollo sat down by Starbuck’s bed. The blond was so pale and surrounded by ominous looking equipment. Starbuck looked very fragile. Apollo started to cry.

 

Holding Starbuck’s hand he began the long wait.

 

 

2 days later

 

“Doctor it’s happening again.”

 

“Damn.” Salik hurried back into Starbuck’s room and watched helplessly as the young man thrashed around and cried out. His hands were held out in front of himself like he was trying to fight someone off.

 

Whatever was happening in Starbuck’s mind was intense and Salik was at a loss how to help him. He and Paye had finally found out what was causing the extreme reaction in Starbuck. The tannins in the fruit that caused it to be a dark blue color reacted chemically with certain people. 

 

Namely Caprican people who had the blood type B+. As this was a rare blood type, the reaction had never been noticed before. Salik had talked with Starbuck’s friends and discovered that he drank light wine, because he always got a headache if he drank the dark colored wine. The tannins in the blue fruit were more concentrated than in anything else he or Paye had ever seen.

 

In addition Starbuck had contracted a mild case of the flu that that made him extremely thirsty. The more he drank the worse his reaction to the fruit and the thirstier he became, in an endless cycle and the reaction had been explosive.

 

Some of the other people who had reactions to the blue fruit were also reacting badly to the medicines used to help them. In one case the man had actually gotten worse. The last thing Starbuck needed was more complications. As a result, Starbuck’s body was on its own.

 

Cassiopeia was talking quietly to Starbuck, trying to calm him down. It helped a little, but really the only one who could help Starbuck was Apollo and right now he wasn’t there. A couple of centars earlier Salik had insisted that Apollo go back to his quarters and get some rest. Apollo had to be forced and it was only when the doctor had threatened to sedate him that Apollo relented.

 

Starbuck finally quieted down and fell asleep. The medical personnel left the room as quickly and quietly as they could. Starbuck was having a hard time sleeping, so when he fell asleep everyone kept away. 

 

Until the next nightmare.

 

******

Starbuck crouched down. If he made himself small enough the big man wouldn’t find him. He scooched back into the closet and tried to quietly pull the hanging clothes around him like a curtain.

 

Shhhh…don’t make a sound. 

 

If he can’t find me, he can’t hurt me. 

 

I wish it wasn’t so dark.

 

******

 

Apollo tracked Boomer down in the messhall. He was supposed to be sleeping and knew that Salik would have a fit when he found out, but Apollo needed to talk to his friend.

 

“Apollo what are you doing here? Has something happened?” Boomer looked fearfully at his friend.

 

“No,” he hastened to reassure his friend, “everything’s the same.” 

 

“At least the seizures stopped.” Boomer said trying to give some hope to the Captain. “Is he still doing that staring thing?” Apollo nodded grimly. When Starbuck wasn’t having a nightmare, daymare, whatever, he just laid and stared straight ahead. It didn’t matter what he was looking at, Starbuck never focused on anything or anyone. 

 

Both men sat grimly, contemplating their stricken friend. Other people in the messhall stayed away. It wasn’t that they were unsympathetic, they knew how close the two men were to Starbuck and they wanted to give them some breathing space.

 

Gathering his courage Apollo asked, “Boom, can we talk a centon?”

 

Boomer eyed his uneasy friend and steered him to a table in a quiet corner of the room. “What is it buddy?”

 

“The other day you said Starbuck had been feeling…”

 

“Depressed and worthless,” Boomer supplied quietly.

 

“Yes. I was wondering if you knew why.”

 

Boomer thought for a few centons before answering. “I don’t want to betray Starbuck’s trust.” Apollo didn’t say anything, allowing his friend to make his own decision. “But I want to help him too, so okay. Starbuck feels like a whore.”

 

Apollo gasped, “Wh…what? Why would he feel that way?”

 

Boomer looked steadily at his normally smart friend and decided shock tactics were in order. “Maybe because you are having sex with him and then acted like he was daggit droppings.” Boomer watched Apollo’s bewildered face. “No, he didn’t betray you. I found out by accident.”

 

“But, but…I…” Apollo sputtered.

 

“You became involved what, nine or ten sectars ago right?” Apollo simply nodded, his mouth hanging open. Not his best look, but to say he was surprised was the understatement of the millennium.

 

“Since then you have changed the way you treat Starbuck in public. You barely acknowledge him when he comes in a room. I know it’s not much, but you know how insecure Bucko is and…okay, how do I put this?” Boomer looked steadily at his friend for a centon. “Apollo I want you to go back to your rooms and look around. I mean really look around, like you were seeing it through Starbuck’s eyes. If you can’t figure out what’s wrong, come back and I’ll help you.” 

 

Silently Boomer thought, ‘if you can’t figure out what’s wrong then you aren’t the decent person I know you to be.’ 

 

******

 

Determined, Apollo strode into his front room. He knew Boomer was right, he had been acting badly around Starbuck, because he was afraid of anyone finding out about their relationship. What if Starbuck left him, he would be devastated.

 

Apollo stopped abruptly in the middle of the floor. He did leave me, whether he wanted to or not.

 

More determined than ever Apollo thought back to the night everything had changed. Apollo went into the bedroom and stood looking around.

 

All right, everything was fine. We were making love and then something happened to upset Starbuck. What could it have been? I know, I’ll put myself in Starbuck’s place and maybe that will help.

 

With this in mind Apollo laid down on his bed. Staring up at the ceiling didn’t give him a clue as to what was wrong. Realizing his mistake, Apollo turned over onto his stomach. Looking towards the dresser he still couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Then he turned his head to the right.

 

Serina.

 

Apollo sat up abruptly and stared. Slowly he turned back to the dresser and looked at it. Apollo jumped up off of the bed and turned in a circle, really looking at his bedroom for the first time in yarens. What he saw sickened him, it was a veritable shrine to his dead wife.

 

What it must have done to Starbuck to see this every time they came in here. How it must have hurt to be making love with Serina in the room.

 

Oh my god…

 

Apollo’s sat down abruptly, missing the bed and falling to the floor. He didn’t even notice it.

 

It’s all my fault.

 

******

 

Apollo sat beside his lover, watching him watch the ceiling. 

 

“I’m so sorry baby, please come back to me. I love you so much. I don’t want to live without you.”

 

Crying, Apollo leaned over and kissed an unresponsive Starbuck on the lips.

 

Outside the door, Commander Adama watched his son kiss Starbuck. Finally, he thought.

 

 

*I want to thank Guldukat for the Sheba punishment idea*

 

Apollo leaned in the doorway watching Starbuck. Tears filled his eyes at seeing how pale and thin Starbuck had become. The dark blue hospital clothes only accentuated how wan and frail he was.

 

Salik walked up and stood by Apollo. “There has been improvement.”

 

This simple statement shocked Apollo who whirled around, his heart pounding with hope. “There has? Where? I don’t see it. Why didn’t you let me know?”

 

Salik broke into the tirade when Apollo paused to breathe. “Yes, there has been. Watch and see. And I just let you know.” Smiling tiredly he added, “it’s only been noticeable today and don’t get too excited yet, it’s slight.”

 

“I’m glad to hear that Starbuck is finally getting better,” said Adama quietly as he came up behind the two men.

 

“Yes. I just hope it’s in time,” Salik said.

 

“What do you mean,” asked Apollo anxiously as he watched his lover sitting in a chair beside his Life Center bed.

 

“Apollo, look at him. I mean really take a good hard look at him. It has been two sectons since he became ill. Starbuck is exhausted physically and emotionally. He is being fed through the VacTube and that is no substitute for eating and he can’t sleep for more than a centar or two at a time.”

 

Salik looked at the two men who alternated between watching him and watching Starbuck. “Everytime Starbuck has one of his nightmares his heart rate shoots through the ceiling and he almost hyperventilates. After the last one we had to put him on oxygen for a while. He is getting weaker by the day gentlemen. If he doesn’t come out of this fugue state fairly quickly he will probably die.”

 

The horrified looks this statement earned made Salik sigh sadly. “I’m sorry, I really am. I just thought you should be prepared.” Salik walked off leaving two despondent men behind.

 

Apollo looked really, really hard for the improvement Salik had talked about. It was finally Adama who noticed that the Lieutenant would turn his head slightly if there was a noise nearby. Apollo was devastated to realize this was the *great* improvement. Adama tried to comfort his son whose heart was breaking.

 

Starbuck continued to sit in his chair, staring off into space.

 

******

 

Two Days later

 

Apollo stood watching Starbuck who was once again in his chair. Every once in a while Starbuck would tense up, his whole body shaking, as he *almost* had one of his nightmares. Afterwards Starbuck would slump down in his chair and gasp for breath.

 

Boxey rushed into Life Center like a miniature whirlwind. He came up and briefly hugged his Dad before racing over to Starbuck. 

 

“Hi Uncle Starbuck. I just got out of school and we learned some of the neatest things today. I learned about dragons and unicorns and didn’t you tell me about some unicorns you saw on a planet once? That sure sounds nice and maybe I can see some some day. And we learned about…”

 

Apollo smiled indulgently at Boxey’s rambling speech. He looked over at Starbuck and gasped in surprise. Starbuck had the same kind of smile on his face.

 

“…and Auntie ‘Thena brought some chocolate chip cookies for us to eat.” Boxey pulled out a slightly smashed cookie from his bag and waved it under Starbuck’s nose. “Doesn’t it smell good.” 

 

Starbuck sniffed and smiling, nodded his head ever so slightly in an “almost missed it” kind of way.

 

“You wanna bite Uncle Starbuck?” At the slight nod Boxey said, “Okay but you have to open your mouth for me.” After a few microns of hesitation, Starbuck opened his mouth and accepted the piece of cookie that Boxey carefully placed in there.

 

Meanwhile, Apollo was frantically waving to Dr. Salik. Salik arrived in time to see the stricken warrior obediently open his mouth and take another bite from Boxey.

 

“It’s good, isn’t it.” Another nod, this one a little more noticeable.

 

“I have a present for you, I made it in class. Wanna see?” Bigger nod. “See it’s you in your viper flying out in space.” Boxey held the drawing in front of Starbuck’s face and after a few microns Starbuck’s eyes slid over to the paper and he smiled.

 

The two observers were stunned and delighted to see Starbuck actually focus on something for the first time in over three sectons.

 

Starbuck declined more cookie with a smile and shake of the head. He was once again staring off into space, but this time he kept smiling and he was obviously still listening to Boxey’s stories.

 

******

 

Mmmm…chocolate. Uhmmmm…where am I? Am I in space? It’s so dark. Wait…what’s that? Is that a viper?

 

******

 

Watching Starbuck and Boxey interact Apollo felt a plan starting to come together in his head. Apollo gathered Boxey and his things together and then he quickly took Boxey over to his grandfather’s where he would spend the next several days. Full of hope, Apollo approached Salik with his idea.

 

“What do you think? You admitted Starbuck really only sleeps when I’m with him and you saw the way he reacted to Boxey.”

 

“Apollo…”

 

“In more relaxed surroundings he might be able to rest even more…”

 

“Apollo…”

 

“…and you know how much he hates being in the Life Center…”

 

“*Apollo*!”

 

Several people jumped at the yell and Apollo looked at the doctor, wide eyed, but at least he stopped talking and listened.

 

“Thank you. Now, I agree. Having the Lieutenant stay with you is an excellent idea. You can always call me if there are any problems and I can check up on the two of you during the day.”

 

“Oh. Thank you doctor. Can I move him right away?”

 

“Yes, Captain. Why don’t you go tell the Lieutenant while I get everything ready.”

 

******

 

“Star baby, I want to talk to you.” Starbuck turned his head and seemed to notice Apollo’s approach. 

 

“How would you like to get out of here?” Starbuck’s smile encouraged Apollo who continued, “You are going to come and stay with Boxey and me.” This time there was a slight frown. “Please baby, I want you to and so does Boxey.” The smile returned and Apollo hugged Starbuck.

 

******

 

Sheba’s sense of self-preservation was very high and she wisely had stayed hidden for several days. She reasoned that after a few days people would forget about that daggit in heat, Starbuck and leave her alone. She only came out to go on patrol, otherwise Sheba stayed in her room.

 

It was a nice plan, but ultimately it didn’t work.

 

“Nice hairdo.” Sheba turned around to see Greenbean looking down at her.

 

“Thank you, I’ve been thinking of cutting it for a while now.” Sheba tried to look confident, but Greenbean just snorted at her. The whole fleet knew how she had acted towards Starbuck and it was apparent somebody had taken revenge. Sheba’s beautiful long, brown hair was now two inches long…and purple.

 

Sheba tried to keep up the façade and marched, well limped away. Her bright purple hair sticking straight out from her head.

 

“Damn, but I’d give a secton’s pay to know who did that to her.” Giles said to Greenbean as he walked up beside the tall warrior. “I’m surprised she didn’t dump whoever did that into trouble. She had the crap beat out of her and couldn’t sit comfortably in her viper for 3 days.” Greenbean grinned at that image.

 

“Yeah, hitting military personnel is a serious offence. I would have figured she would swallow her pride in order to get back at whoever did it.”

 

“Well, then it must have been a civilian, don’t you think boys.” Both men watched Cassiopeia saunter by. As she glanced back over her shoulder they were amazed to see a predatory smile on her face.

 

“Wow,” they uttered in unison.

 

******

 

Apollo walked down the corridor pushing Starbuck’s hoverchair. He was soooo happy, he just knew this would do the trick and get Starbuck to wake up.

 

It would. It just *had* to. Please.

 

Apollo stood up tall, back straight, determined. It would work. There was no way he was losing Starbuck. No way in hell.

 

Starbuck was still smiling and looked more relaxed than he had since this mess all started. He hadn’t had one of his tensing up spells in over a centar. Starbuck was responding more and more the farther they went in the ship. He would turn his head some when he heard a particularly loud noise, like a laugh or something falling. 

 

“Hey Apollo.” Boomer said as he came up to the two men and squatted down in front of Starbuck. Gently he said, “Hi, Bucko. It’s good to see you out and about.” Starbuck smiled brightly when he heard Boomer’s voice. Heartened, Boomer and Apollo grinned at each other.

 

“Hi guys, hi Starbuck.” Jolly came up too and patted Starbuck on the hand.

 

By now word had spread of Starbuck’s departure from LifeCenter and several of his friends came rushing up to see him. Lots and lots of friends. All crowding around and talking to Starbuck. 

 

Apollo noticed that Starbuck wasn’t smiling anymore. His head was jerking all around as he tried to listen to everyone at once. Apollo stepped in before his lover could get any more upset. “We’re going to go on now.” Apollo’s voice stopped all the talking. Placing his hand on Starbuck’s trembling shoulder he continued, “This has been a really stressful day for Starbuck.”

 

Starbuck’s friends immediately backed away, they didn’t want to cause a setback. Apollo pushed the hoverchair through the wall of people, talking quietly to Starbuck the whole time. He kept running his hand up and down over Starbuck’s neck and shoulder, soothing him.

 

******

 

“Everybody was really glad to see you baby. I thought it was getting kind of crowded myself, didn’t you?” Starbuck nodded shakily as Apollo steered them into his rooms. “We’re here, safe and sound.”

 

“I bet you’re ready to get out of this chair, you’ve been sitting up for 4 centars now. Hey, that’s a record for you.” As he was talking, Apollo took Starbuck into the bedroom, picked him up and laid him on the bed.

 

As they lay on their sides facing each other, Apollo brushed the hair from his lover’s eyes and kissed him ever so slightly. Apollo thought Starbuck’s lips moved against his, but he couldn’t be sure.

 

“Why don’t you try and sleep now. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. That’s it, close you’re beautiful eyes for me.” 

 

Apollo waited until he was sure Starbuck was asleep before closing his eyes to try and get a little rest. “I love you Star,” he whispered as he was falling asleep.

 

Starbuck smiled in his sleep.

 

 

A centar and a half later Apollo heard Starbuck moaning. Before he could attempt to calm him, Starbuck began to toss back and forth on the bed.

 

“Shh, shh, Star, calm down. It’s all right, you’re safe.” Starbuck kept thrashing and started whimpering. Apollo was at a loss what to do. He couldn’t calm Starbuck down this time. Then Apollo had another idea.

 

“Starbuck, listen to my voice. I want you to try and concentrate for me, listen to my voice and follow it. I’m on a beach, Cala Beach on Caprica. Do you remember the vacation we took on Cala? It was so pretty there. The water was almost as blue as your eyes. The sand soft and warm. You and I sat under that umbrella and drank fizzy drinks all day. That’s where I want you to go right now.”

 

******

 

He’s after me again. I don’t know where to hide. Please somebody help me.

 

What’s that, what do I hear? Apollo’s talking to me again. He’ll protect me, I know he will. Where is he? Cala. Cala? Oh yeah, I remember Cala Beach.

 

If that’s where ‘Pol is then that’s where I’m going.

 

Wait for me. Please don’t leave me here…alone.

 

******

 

Apollo watched as his lover calmed down, his breathing slowly evening out. He kept murmuring to Starbuck in a soothing voice. Eventually Starbuck’s body relaxed and he lay panting softly on the bed.

 

He looks so tired. He’s so pale and his beautiful blue eyes are almost ringed with dark circles. I’ve got to find a way for him to relax enough to sleep longer. But how…wait a centon…that just might work.

 

Apollo waited until Starbuck drifted off to sleep and then he hurried in to call his father on the comm channel.

 

******

 

Adama watched as his son brought Starbuck’s hoverchair into his living room.

 

“Are you sure you don’t mind,” Apollo queried his father. 

 

“Of course not,” Adama replied, finally looking away from Starbuck. “I want to do anything I can to help.”

 

Apollo smiled brightly and the hope that shone through made Adama blink in surprise. Apollo had never, ever looked that content. Not even when he had become engaged to Serina had Apollo looked this happy.

 

Adama watched his son hurry off to the bathroom and walked back to sit down in front of Starbuck. “Serina was a mistake you know,” he said quietly. “I realized that almost from the start. I didn’t know why then, but I knew deep inside that he shouldn’t marry her.” 

 

“Now I do know what was the matter, Apollo didn’t love Serina, he loved you. He still does.” Starbuck’s hand twitched every time Adama said Serina’s name. Adama patted the hand reassuringly. “We need you to come back now Starbuck. Apollo needs you.”

 

Adama sat and waited with Starbuck. 

 

One centon everything was fine and the next Starbuck was keening in a low voice and twisting his body around in the chair. Adama was at a loss as to what he should do, because he had never witnessed one of Starbuck’s nightmares before. He called out for Apollo and tried to comfort the upset young man. The commander tried patting Starbuck on the arm and talking to him, but nothing helped. If anything this only made Starbuck worse.

 

By the time Apollo came running in, Starbuck was fast approaching hysteria and Adama was doing little better. Apollo took his lover into his arms and began rocking him back and forth crooning to him. Slowly Starbuck calmed down and as he did, so did Adama.

 

Apollo looked up to see tears in his father’s eyes. “Is it always like this,” Adama questioned. Apollo just nodded his head and held his lover. “How often does he do this?”

 

“Four or five times a day.” At Adama’s horrified look Apollo hastened to reassure him. “It is getting better, as soon as last secton they were happening at least seven or eight times a day.”

 

Apollo stood up and pushed Starbuck’s hoverchair towards the turboflush. As soon as they were out of sight Adama closed his eyes and said a fervent prayer to all the Lord’s of Kobol and any other gods he could think of. “Lords, please restore Starbuck. If you don’t I’m very much afraid I’ll lose both of my sons,” the commander whispered the words as he brushed the tears from his eyes.

 

******

 

“I have a surprise for you Bucko. You and I are going to take a bath, a bubble bath, no less. Can you beat that? A real honest to goodness *water* bath.” Apollo was slowly but surely removing Starbuck’s clothes as he talked to him. Going slowly, because he didn’t want to startle Starbuck, Apollo took off the clothes from the Life Center. Apollo had left them on in the first place because they were specifically designed for easy removal. The sides of the shirt and pants were simply held together with a row of ties running up and down the sides. So Starbuck, in a matter of microns, was naked.

 

“Hey you know what?” Naturally there was silence to this question, but that didn’t phase Apollo one bit. “I think we ought to keep these clothes even after you’re better.” Not if, when. That’s right, when. “I like being able to get to you quicker, it leaves longer for the fun stuff, huh.” Still no response.

 

Apollo quickly stripped off his own clothes, picked up Starbuck and gently lowered him into the warm, bubbling water. Before Starbuck could fall over, Apollo stepped into the tub and sat down behind him with his legs sprawled. Apollo wrapped his arms around his lover’s waist and gently pulled him back until Starbuck was leaning back against him. Starbuck sighed contentedly. Apollo did the same.

 

The two lovers sat for a while, reveling in the luxury of the warm water. In these times, water was a precious commodity and most people primarily took sonic showers. It was only because of Adama’s high standing that he even had a tub.

 

Apollo took some shampoo in his hand and began to wash his lover’s hair. Starbuck smiled with his eyes closed and arched his neck back as he unconsciously enjoyed the attention. All too soon it was finished, as was the other washing Apollo did. 

 

Before long, Apollo noticed that Starbuck had fallen asleep. Apollo was thrilled to see that his plan had worked. He knew that if he could just get Starbuck to relax that he would rest better. Apollo was surprised when after just a few centons Starbuck turned his body sideways until he was curled up against Apollo’s chest. This was the first time he had voluntarily moved around since he had been stricken, other than during his nightmares.

 

Starbuck burrowed his head around for a few microns until his ear was over Apollo’s heart. Comforted by this rhythmatic lullaby Starbuck slid deeper into sleep.

 

******

 

I like this place ‘Pol. It’s so warm and bright. 

 

Can we stay here forever?

 

******

 

Eventually Adama’s worries led him to tap lightly at the turboflush door. Hearing a faint murmur of assent he went in. The sight before him was stunning. His son was sitting in the tub, naked, with Starbuck, also naked, surrounded by bubbles and they were cuddling.

 

It was one of the most beautiful sights the commander had ever seen.

 

“I take it your plan worked,” Adama said whisper quiet. Apollo just nodded. “Has he been asleep all this time?” Again Apollo just nodded. It was obvious to Adama that Apollo was afraid of waking Starbuck up by talking. “That’s wonderful. Did you know the two of you have been in here for almost 3 centars?” Apollo’s arched eyebrow indicated his surprise. “You’re going to stay in here until he wakes up aren’t you.” Another nod. “I thought so. Do you need the water heated up or the temperature raised in here?” Apollo shook his head no and Adama left saying, “if you need any help just call.”

 

******

 

Apollo sat bemusedly in the tub. My father just saw me naked in the tub with my lover and it didn’t bother me. Just a few sectons ago the thought of anyone, let alone his father, knowing about him and Starbuck would have terrified him. Now he could care less. 

 

The irony was not lost on Apollo that if he had just acknowledged Starbuck earlier, none of this mess would have happened. Certainly Starbuck would have gotten sick from the blue juice, but he wouldn’t have been so despondent and sunk deep down into himself.

 

“I love you, Starbuck.”

 

******

 

“I love you, Starbuck.”

 

Starbuck turned from watching his friends on the beach, “did you say something ‘Pol?” 

 

The Apollo in front of him just smiled. Starbuck smiled in return and went back to looking at the lovely day.

 

******

 

It was about another centar before Starbuck began to stir. Apollo stood up, not an easy task considering how long he had been sitting, and picked Starbuck up. Placing his lover on a towel he had laid on the chair earlier, Apollo dried Starbuck off and dressed him. He then quickly dressed himself.

 

Apollo was grinning when he saw his father. “Almost 4 centars, he slept most of the time for 4 centars. That’s the longest he’s slept in sectons.”

 

“Well he certainly looks rested. I’m glad to see that your plan worked.”

 

“Thank you father. Now, I had better get us back to our rooms. Maybe he can sleep some more.”

 

With that Apollo took a still sleepy Starbuck back to their, yes *their* rooms. Luckily it was an off time and therefore they didn’t meet up with any of their friends who might upset Starbuck with their enthusiasm. 

 

Apollo laid Starbuck on the bed, propping him up with some pillows. He caressed Starbuck’s face with his hand and then went to the kitchen to get something to drink, for both of them. He was determined to try again to get Starbuck to drink something.

 

He didn’t see Starbuck start to frown.

 

******

 

Starbuck felt Apollo touch his face and sighed happily. Smiling he turned to Apollo and reached out to put his hand on his lover’s face.

 

And touched nothing.

 

His hand went right through Apollo.

 

Starbuck gasped in horror and jumped up, knocking over his chair. “Apollo?”

 

******

 

Starbuck gasped and began to whimper.

 

******

 

“APOLLO?!” Again his hand went through the smiling Apollo. 

 

It got very quiet. Apprehensively Starbuck looked towards the beach and found it empty. All his friends were gone. Then it got dark, everywhere except the small oasis of light surrounding him and Apollo.

 

Reaching out in terror, Starbuck again tried to touch his lover, only to have Apollo disappear too.

 

In his head, Starbuck started screaming. 

 

******

 

Apollo heard Starbuck hollering and ran back into the bedroom, dropping the glasses on the kitchen floor.

 

Starbuck was sitting straight up in the bed, holding his head in both hands and screaming hysterically. Apollo immediately crushed his lover to his chest and began trying to calm him down.

 

“Star, baby, it’s all right. I’m right here. Shhh….shhhh…it’s all right. Please come back to me. I need you. I love you.” 

 

Starbuck gasped.

 

******

 

Oh lords what’s going on? Where am I? Where’s Apollo? Why is it so dark in here? Please somebody help me.

 

“Please come back to me. I need you. I love you.” 

 

Apollo?

 

******

 

Apollo heard Starbuck gasp and felt him stiffen when he declared his love. So he did it again and again and again. And you know what they say, ‘the third time’s the charm’.

 

“‘Pol?”

 

Now it was Apollo’s turn to gasp. He pulled back and looked into Starbuck’s eyes. His wonderful *seeing* eyes.

 

“STARBUCK? Oh lords, Starbuck, baby, do you see me?”

 

Starbuck looked bewildered, dazed and very scared. “Apollo, are you real?” Shaking, Starbuck extended a trembling hand and carefully touched Apollo’s cheek. When he actually touched Apollo’s face, Starbuck burst into tears.

 

Apollo grabbed Starbuck’s face in both hands and began kissing the tears away. “I love you. I love you. Oh lords how much I love you.”

 

This mantra broke through to Starbuck who looked happily at his lover and said “you do?”

 

 

Starbuck was dreaming. He just knew it. That was the only thing that made sense. Apollo had just told him that he loved him. HIM. Starbuck. This all being a dream was the only explanation that made sense. No one loved *him*.

 

Did they? Could they? Did he?

 

******

 

Apollo held his lover and whispered the magic words over and over again. “I love you, Starbuck.”

 

Starbuck held on to the front of Apollo’s shirt like a lifeline, as he listened to Apollo profess his love. Overcome by emotions and total exhaustion, Starbuck slumped against Apollo’s chest, his forehead resting on Apollo’s collarbone. Starbuck lay like that, his breathing ragged, for a little while.

 

Lord’s he was tired. And sore. What had happened? Starbuck could remember being alone and scared, but nothing else.

 

Sitting as they were was awkward and so, eventually, Apollo tried to lean Starbuck back against the pillows. Starbuck tightened his grip on the front of Apollo’s shirt desperately. Apollo immediately began reassuring his lover. “It’s okay Star, I’m not going anywhere. I just wanted to get you more comfortable.”

 

Starbuck didn’t answer. He just kept looking Apollo over like he couldn’t believe he was real. After the last three sectons of silence, Apollo didn’t like it when Starbuck wouldn’t talk. Apollo started to get worried. 

 

Oh please let him stay, don’t have him slip away again.

 

“Starbuck, are you okay? Talk to me, baby.” 

 

“Apollo, is this real? Are you really here with me?”

 

“Yes, baby. I’m really here and everything is going to be fine.”

 

Starbuck was confused. Apollo was being so solicitous of him. That was definitely a change, for the better. Lately Apollo had been so standoffish, even when they were alone. “What happened, ‘Pol?”

 

Apollo quickly related what had happened with the blue juice and how Starbuck had reacted to it. He omitted mentioning the scene with Sheba. If Starbuck didn’t remember it, Apollo didn’t want to bring up any bad memories that might upset Starbuck. There would be enough time later to rehash what had happened at the party.

 

Starbuck was aghast. “I’ve been out of it for 3 sectons?” Starbuck smiled in an attempt at nonchalance. “Just tell me I didn’t drool or anything.” 

 

Apollo wasn’t fooled. Starbuck looked really worried and he still had a death grip on the front of Apollo’s shirt. “Don’t worry Star, you didn’t drool. You didn’t do anything embarrassing.”

 

Reassured, Starbuck relaxed back against the pillows a little more. He seemed calmer, but his eyes never left Apollo’s face. Likewise, Apollo couldn’t stop looking into Starbuck’s eyes. It was too wonderful to see *Starbuck* looking back from Starbuck’s eyes.

 

“Damn,” Apollo frowned.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“I need to let the others know you’re doing better.”

 

“Okay…so what’s the problem?”

 

“I need to go to the comm panel.” Both men turned to look at the doorway. Through it the comm panel could be seen on the wall in the next room. “Hang on a centon and I’ll put you back in your chair.”

 

“*My* chair.” Starbuck looked at the hoverchair sitting by the bed. “Oh.” Starbuck swallowed hard, realizing that he had probably been riding around in that for three sectons. 

 

Slightly embarrassed, Starbuck looked back at the door. “You don’t need to do that. I’ll be all right, here on the bed.”

 

“Are you sure?” Apollo didn’t look convinced and considering what had happened the last time he had left Starbuck alone, Apollo felt more than justified. “It’s no problem.”

 

“Really, ‘Pol, I’ll be fine. We’ll even be able to see each other while you’re on the comm. Go ahead.” Starbuck’s voice was calm, but he still had a strong hold on Apollo. Realizing this, Starbuck let go and made shooing motions with his hands. 

 

Mildly reassured, Apollo walked over to the comm system. He made sure Starbuck could see him, and incidentally, he could see Starbuck, all the time. 

 

The first call he made was to the Life Center. Dr. Salik was stunned to hear of Starbuck’s miraculous recovery. “I’ll be right there.”

 

Apollo’s next call was to his father. Even in the next room Starbuck could hear Boxey laughing through the comm. He and Apollo shared a grin. Adama told Apollo that he and Boxey were on their way.

 

“Bachelors Officer Quarters.”

 

“This is Captain Apollo, I need to speak to…”

 

“BOOMER, come quick, Apollo’s on the comm.”

 

Breathlessly, Boomer answered the comm. “Apollo, what’s wrong?”

 

“Boom…he woke up.”

 

Complete and utter silence…for two microns. The whooping and hollering that could then be heard through the comm was deafening.

 

Starbuck felt himself tearing up. To think, there were that many people who cared about *him*. Apollo was smiling and had tears in his eyes as well.

 

Apollo started back into the bedroom and then stopped. Frowning he looked back into the living room. “What’s wrong, ‘Pol?”

 

“I need to unlock the door and I don’t like the idea of…”

 

Starbuck interrupted, “Just go ahead, I’ll be fine. I did okay when you were on the comm, didn’t I.”

 

“You sure did. Okay baby, I’ll be right back.” Apollo turned around and went into the living room. 

 

Starbuck was mildly shocked. Did he just call me *baby*? 

 

I love it.

 

Everything was fine until Starbuck lost sight of Apollo. Immediately, he felt his chest tighten up and it became hard to breathe. 

 

This is ridiculous. I know Apollo’s in the next room, I can hear him. Whimper.

 

Apollo hurried as fast as he could to unlock the door, talking to Starbuck the whole time. “Star, are you okay?”

 

“Uh huh.”

 

Apollo heard what Starbuck wasn’t saying and raced back into the bedroom. His lover was sitting bolt upright in the bed, his eyes were wide with barely controlled panic and he was about to hyperventilate. Apollo landed on the bed beside him and Starbuck quickly latched back on to his shirt. Apollo put one hand on Starbuck’s and wrapped the other around the back of his lover’s neck.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

 

“Star, what do you have to be sorry about?”

 

“I’m sorry I’m acting so silly. I know you were in the next room, but when I couldn’t see you I got s-s-s-scared.” Apollo held his lover even closer and reassured him.

 

“It’s okay baby. After all you’ve been through, of course you’re going to be shaky.” Starbuck calmed back down enough to lean back again. Apollo maneuvered around until they were holding hands. “Next time, you come with me.”

 

“Sounds good to me.” Starbuck grinned at his lover. It was a tremulous grin, but in Apollo’s eyes it still lit up the room.

 

“STARBUCK STARBUCK STARBUCK.” Boxey’s shriek was heard half-way down the corridor. Boxey came streaking into the bedroom. He jumped up on the bed, pushing his father to one side, and grabbed Starbuck around the neck in a hug.

 

Laughing, Starbuck wrapped his free hand around Boxey’s back. He looked up to see Adama standing in the doorway with tears in his eyes. 

 

Tears. The commander’s crying. For me?

 

“Uncle Starbuck, you’re back! I’m so glad you’re back. I’ve missed you. Dad’s missed you. Everybody’s missed you.”

 

Before Starbuck could say anything Dr. Salik came hurrying in. He smiled at the assembled group. “Got here before me, hmm.” Apollo motioned for his son to let the doctor come closer. Boxey hopped down and went to stand by his grandfather. The bedroom was starting to become crowded.

 

“Well Lieutenant, I’m glad to see you have finally come around. You have certainly kept us jumping.” The normally gruff doctor smiled to show that he wasn’t serious.

 

Starbuck realized he was still holding hands with Apollo. He unobtrusively pulled his hand away; it was one of the hardest things Starbuck had ever done. Even that small degree of separation was frightening.

 

Apollo frowned and picked up Starbuck’s hand. He deliberately reconnected their hands. 

 

Starbuck stared at Apollo in amazement. He didn’t know what to say or do and wasn’t really listening to the doctor.

 

The doctor! And Boxey…and THE COMMANDER!

 

Apollo is holding my hand in front of his family………….and they don’t seem to care. On the contrary, they look happy.

 

“Bucko. Welcome back.” Boomer’s greeting wasn’t as loud as Boxey’s had been, but it was just as enthusiastic. Boomer had to stand in the doorway because the bedroom wouldn’t hold any more people. “I convinced the rest of the guys to wait a few days before coming over, otherwise the whole front room would be filled up.” 

 

Boomer looked at his friend for a couple of centons. They all listened to the doctor questioning Starbuck on how he felt.

 

“Okay, I guess. I’m tired though and achy.”

 

“I’m not surprised. Considering the workout you’ve given your body for the last 3 sectons your muscles will undoubtedly be sore for a few days. A little rest and you should feel fine. Rest and some food. I want you to try and eat something before you go to bed tonight. I’ll keep the VacTube on you until you are able to eat normally.” Turning to Apollo, Salik continued, “Nothing very heavy at first. I would recommend trying a little pudding.” After Apollo nodded Salik got up to leave. “After all, you haven’t eaten anything for 3 sectons.”

 

“That’s not true,” Boxey spoke up after the doctor had left. “You and me ate just the other day.”

 

Starbuck thought for a moment. “Did you give me a cookie?” Boxey smiled and nodded. “I remember something else. Something about a viper. Oh yeah, hey kiddo don’t I have a picture you drew for me?”

 

Boxey jumped up and ran into the living room. Before any of the adults could blink an eye he was back with the aforementioned picture. In a gush of air, Boxey pointed out all of the details of the picture to Starbuck.

 

“Boxey why don’t you put Starbuck’s picture on the dresser.”

 

Boxey obediently placed the drawing on the dresser. Starbuck flinched. He really didn’t want to see it displayed among Serina’s things. Bracing himself, Starbuck looked at the picture. He glanced away before agreeing with Boxey that it looked really nice there.

 

Then he looked back.

 

The dresser was bare. Except for *his* drawing.

 

Starbuck looked over at the bedside table. The pictures were gone! In their place was the ornamental box he had given Apollo on his last birthday. Starbuck looked all around the room. 

 

Serina was gone.

 

Wordlessly Starbuck looked at Apollo, who got up and opened the closet door. Inside were Apollo’s clothes and next to them were his.

 

“I’m so sorry, Star.” Apollo got down on his knees beside the bed. Retaking Starbuck’s hand in his, he continued, “I never thought about what I was doing to you. I didn’t pay attention and I hurt you. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you. Please forgive me.”

 

“There’s nothing to forgive you for Apollo.”

 

“Yes, there is. I brought you here, among her things to make love. I made you sneak out in the middle of the night and I never told you I love you. Please stay here with me and Boxey. Let this be our home, together.”

 

Starbuck just smiled and nodded. Apollo sighed in relief. 

 

From the doorway there was clapping. Both men looked over. Boomer, Adama and Boxey were all clapping. “See ya later,” Boomer said as he turned and left. 

 

Boomer walked out the front door and said, “He’s really awake and they’re moving in together.” The large crowd that lined the corridor cheered. Jolly turned to Boomer and said, “Well it certainly took them long enough.”

 

The group of friends went off to celebrate Starbuck’s recovery.

 

******

 

Inside the bedroom, Adama simply stated, “Well done, son,” and he went out into the living room. All that was left was Boxey. The young boy walked over to the stunned couple.

 

“Dad, I’m glad you’re better now. I know how sad you were when Mom died. But at least you’ve finally put her stuff up. Now maybe Uncle Starbuck can stay all night long.”

 

Apollo sputtered and Starbuck sat there with his mouth open. The young man started in towards the living room where his grandfather was waiting to take him back to his rooms for the night. “B-b-boxey, what do you mean? How did you know?”

 

Boxey turned back to his father and rolled his eyes. “Jeez Dad, I’m 8, not stupid.” With that Boxey walked out of the room.

 

 

One Sectar Later

 

Starbuck, Apollo and Boomer were sitting at a table in the Officer’s Club. They had planned on going to the Rising Star but decided to wait for one more secton. Starbuck was still too weak from his ordeal to do much in the way of partying. 

 

Apollo tempted his lover with some mushies. He knew how much Starbuck liked them and he was still way too thin. It had taken over a secton before Salik had removed the VacTube, because Starbuck hadn’t been able to eat very much. He still didn’t eat nearly as much as he did *before*.

 

Starbuck ate some of the mushies, more really than he wanted to, just to please Apollo. He so hated seeing everyone worry. 

 

Starbuck tried to hide his trembling hand. He wasn’t scared or upset, far from it. The shaking was a side affect of the blue juice toxins and the catatonia. Dr. Salik had told him that the symptoms would get better, but probably never go away completely.

 

He was never going to fly a viper again. If you had asked Starbuck before this mess all happened he would have told you that not flying would be the worst thing that could ever happen to him. Now, for some reason, it didn’t bother him. That reason was sitting right beside him, trying to get him to eat more. With Apollo beside him he always felt like he was flying.

 

Adama had talked to Starbuck about being a teacher. He would teach young, eager cadets how to fly. Starbuck had decided he liked that idea and planned on taking the commander up on his offer.

 

Starbuck nibbled on a mushie, looked around the room at *all* of his friends and was happy.

 

******

 

Apollo decided he had better get Starbuck something more nutritious to eat. He needed to get his strength back and while eating sweets might help him gain weight it wasn’t necessarily good for him.

 

He knew he was a little obsessive about Starbuck, but Apollo couldn’t help it. Starbuck had been so sick, sicker even than most people realized. After having four seizures, three of them massive ones and losing 20 lbs., Starbuck’s health was still precarious.

 

Apollo realized that Boomer had followed him to the bar. He glanced over at Starbuck and saw that he was alone at the table. Starbuck seemed to be doing fine and so Apollo dawdled, trying to give his lover a little breathing space.

 

******

 

Starbuck sat and stared; mesmerized by the sight coming towards him.

 

“Starbuck can I talk to you for a centon?”

 

“Uh, yeah.” Starbuck finally drug his eyes away from her hair. Purple? Sheba was standing there, looking contrite.

 

“I want to apologize for the way I acted at Commander Adama’s party. You know, the one you collapsed at. I don’t know what came over me. I said some pretty horrible things. I’m sorry I called you a ‘whore’ and I am definitely sorry for telling you that you would ‘never keep Apollo’. Saying those things to you was unconscionable.”

 

Starbuck looked up at Sheba, who was still standing, and snorted. “You’re good Sheba, real good.” He smiled when the smug look on her face faded. “I remember the party, you know; everything about it, as a matter of fact. I know Apollo thinks…hopes that I have forgotten what happened, that’s why I haven’t told him otherwise. I don’t want to worry him, he’s been through enough.”

 

“Nice one though. Were you hoping you could shock me back into a stupor.” Starbuck rolled his eyes and laughed quietly. “Puh-lease.” Starbuck deliberately looked away. “It was nice seeing you Sheba, you can go now.”

 

Sheba was stunned. How dare he treat *her* like that.

 

******

 

Apollo and Boomer watched the confrontation from across the room. Boomer had a firm grip on Apollo’s arm. “Let’s see how he reacts.” Boomer cut into Apollo’s protest, “you can’t protect him for forever.”

 

They watched Sheba stalk off and hurried over to Starbuck. Neither man was reassured, because Starbuck was staring off into space. Around the room, it was unnaturally silent. Everyone had stopped drinking, gambling and groping to watch Starbuck and Sheba. 

 

Sheba never had any idea of just how close to death she had been that night. If there had been even a hint of her hurting Starbuck again, Sheba would have been tossed out an airlock before she could have blinked an eye. Many of the people in the room had an emergency plan all worked out. However, instead of a plan that told you where to go during an emergency, it directed you to the nearest convenient airlock. 

 

******

 

Starbuck smiled at his lover and Boomer. “Please tell me it’s not true.”

 

Both men looked apprehensive. “Tell you what’s not true, baby.”

 

“Tell me that vacuous tramp really wasn’t the reason I snapped.” Starbuck’s voice was just loud enough, in the continuing quiet, that everybody heard him. The silence continued until Starbuck grinned. Laughter echoed around the room as people realized; a) Starbuck was all right and b) they didn’t have to kill Sheba. Today. 

 

A couple of the people in the crowd got drunk in disappointment.

 

Apollo slid an arm around his lover and gave him a gentle squeeze. Boomer pulled out a deck of cards and motioned Jolly and Greenbean over. The friends played a game of Pyramid for a while and things were back to normal. Only better.


End file.
